Avoiding your partner the night before – for or against?

It’s an age-old tradition, yet wedding trends have evolved and general etiquette has changed. Is it still necessary for couples to sleep apart the night before their nuptials?

Bride and groom

Many couples still choose to honour the time-served tradition of spending the night away from each other before their wedding day. Some even go as far as not speaking to their fiancé at all in the 24 hours before they say “I do”. The tradition has changed slightly since ancient times – it used to be that the groom was not permitted to see his bride at all prior to the ceremony. Many couples are a little confused about sleeping arrangements and what’s expected of them before the wedding.  

According to a recent poll, 52% of those surveyed said that the bride and groom shouldn’t see each other during the 24 hours before they tie the knot. On the other hand, 45% didn’t see why they shouldn’t lay eyes on each other before that fateful walk down the aisle. Here we take a closer look at the reasons for and against avoiding your partner the night before, giving you all you need to decide whether doing away with tradition or embracing the convention is right for you.

It’s the perfect time for a slumber party

Your wedding day is one of the most memorable moments of your life. Although times have changed since brides’ lives were altered completely after becoming a Mrs., it’s a milestone well worth celebrating. Many brides and grooms opt to spend their final night as a singleton not with their partner (there are after all plenty of nights to come for that) but with their friends and close family members. Your maid of honour, best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen and parents can all be a part of night before celebrations. Enjoy a few drinks and reminisce with those closest to you before the fun really begins the next day.

Enjoy your last night before becoming Mr and Mrs

For most couples, spending the night separately can mean more excitement to see your partner on the day of itself. It can also mean added stress for both parties, especially if you’ve been cohabiting with your spouse-to-be in the weeks, months and years before your wedding date. Many couples get a better nights’ rest by spending the night before with their partner. Others simply love spending time with their fiancé before they officially become Mr and Mrs.

What will you do?

Whatever the reasons for and against, deciding whether to see your bride or groom the night before comes down to your preferences as a couple. The Knot (@theknot) offers some food for thought for those still on the fence:

“Many couples adhere to the not-seeing-each-other custom because they feel it adds excitement and anticipation to the ceremony itself — you know, the moment he sees you coming up the aisle. Other couples feel they’ll be more relaxed if they see each other before the ceremony — more and more even take formal pictures pre-ceremony, when everyone’s freshly done up — and claim that 15 minutes alone with their beloved calms them for the main event. It’s completely up to you two. If you’ll be bummed out that everyone else is enjoying the pre-wedding breakfast, go! And if you really want to lay eyes on your man before the wedding, do!”

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